2008 Summary

1. What did you do in 2008 that you had never done before?
~ Tim and I bought a house.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
~ I don't make resolutions anymore

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
~ Yes, my SIL gave birth as well as a few of my friends.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
~ No, fortunately

5. What countries did you visit?
~ None this year

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
~ a baby

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
~ None that really stand out.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
~ Major pay raise

9. What was your biggest failure?
~ Fighting with Tim more often

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
~ none this year

11. What was the best thing you bought?
~ Our house because I know that when it is done, it will be great

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
~ Dr. Mattingly, who has been able to make some progress with me.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
~ Mine, sometimes.

14. Where did most of your money go?
~ Debt, the house, and everything else in between

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
~ getting to decorate my own place

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
~ Life in a Northern Town - Sugarland

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? ~ Happier
b) thinner or fatter? ~ About the same
c) richer or poorer? ~ About the same

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
~ Get things done around the house

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
~ I wish I had been less emotional these past few months.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
~ alone for the most part...Tim had to work both nights.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
~ I fall in love every day :-)

23. What concerts did you attend this year?
~ None

24. What was your favorite TV program?
~ Eli Stone

25. Do you dislike anyone now that you didn't dislike this time last year?
~ Yes

26. What was the best book you read?
~ 19 Minutes by Jodi Picoult

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
~ Nothing I can think of, been listening to country for several years now.

28. What did you want and get?
~ Will be getting some new bakeware...I am in desperate need of some new ones.

29. What did you want and not get?
~ a baby

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
~ The Dark Knight

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
~ I turned 27 and went to dinner and a movie

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
~ If I had become a mother.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
~ The same as 2007

34. What kept you sane?
~ my husband

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
~ fancy?!? none

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
~ none for the most part

37. Who did you miss?
~ Our friends in Murfreesboro and everything we did together.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
~ Didn't really meet anyone this year.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
~ Patience is a virtue.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
~ "I just wanna fix my mistakes..." Blake Shelton

I've been Tagged...

My friend just tagged me...here are the rules:
You must go to your documents folder (or wherever you store your photos) and go to your 6th picture folder, then go to the 6th picture in that folder and post it on your blog. Tell us a story about that picture.

In this case, this is a picture of my cat, Ciaran (the black cat) and my IL's cat, Miss Kitty, snuggling together. They looked so sweet together; the few times they weren't chasing each other around the house. It was Christmas 2006.

Now......I am gonna tag ALL of the people who read my blog! Have fun!

So alone...

I really don't know who to reach out to right now. I feel so alone. It is 4 days before Christmas and I have finally come to the realization that I am going to be by myself Christmas Eve (Tim goes into work at 1pm and doesn't get off until midnight) and again on Christmas Day (he will have to work again from 4pm to midnight). He doesn't have the holiday off like most people, but he only works customer service at Cincinnati Bell. There should be no reason that the call center should be open over the holiday (any holiday; I also spent Thanksgiving by myself, he worked 12 hours that day as well). I will also get to spend New Year's Eve by myself (he doesn't get home until after 12:30pm so it just isn't the same). I suppose it is better than last year when he worked 2nd shift and we ended up celebrating 5 hours earlier, but at least we were able to travel and make it back in time for him to work. Now we don't even have that option.

I think I am also sad because we don't have any extra money to get each other gifts, at least not ones that we don't already know about. Normally I enjoy shopping and wrapping presents, but when I have neither, what else am I suppose to do. He got WoW for his bday/christmas gift and we are only budgetted for $25 a person, including ourselves (which I hate). All I really want are some new baking pans (cookie sheets or cake pan) since ours are fairly nasty.

Unfortuantly, I have been taking my frustrations out on Tim and it isn't helping that I have the Clomid crazies right now. I can't wait to get back on the Femera, but that isn't until next cycle. I was hoping to relax and enjoy this break cycle, but that hasn't happened yet. I get to start HCG shots next cycle, which could be interesting since I have to administer my own shots (luckily there will only be 5). Dr. Mattingly promised me that they are small needles, so who knows.

I feel better (still have a headache) getting this onto paper, and I can only pray things get better. I can't wait for 2009 to get here.

Life goes on...

I can't believe that it has been over two months since I have posted. No I haven't fallen off the face of the year; I have just been dealing with life.

First, today's is Tim's 32nd birthday, so I want to say Happy Birthday! to him.

It's kinda sad that another year has passed and we still haven't been able to get pregnant. At least Dr. Mattingly has been able to make some progress with my blood work after doing blood work for 3 weeks, going every other day (my arms are finally starting to heal from the bruises). We are going to move onto HCG injectables along with the Femera next cycle. We are moving forward, but I just wish this was about two years ago (or even this time last year).

We have been keeping busy moving into the house; lots of unpacking, cleaning, and still more painting. We have the two other bedrooms and the bathroom to finish. The bathroom is going to be an ongoing project since it is our only one.

Life continues to move forward, so must I.

New House

We finally closed on the house we bought. It is on the NW side of Cincinnati, so I am going to have a bit of a drive, but nothing too terrible. The only thing about it is that I will be driving into the sun each way. Here are some pics that show some of nice things about it. Don't worry, we are going to paint and change out the carpet. :-)



The only major thing that needs to be done is that the shed needs to be fixed and the yard is kinda messy. I am so excited to be able decorate my own place.

bad blogger....

I really need to update this blog more often...so much has happened in the past few weeks. I will give a brief update on each and then give a full explanation when I have more time.

1. Turns out I didn't ovulate at all while on 50mg of Clomid...so my doc bumped me up to 100mg, so I am in the middle of that cycle.

2. The two main managers resigned from my company, so the manager who had just retired came back, so he got a total of 6 weeks away (shortest retirement in history :-P)

3. I am a bad Catholic because I have only just recently visited University of Notre Dame and I am 27 years old. It is a beautiful campus.

4. We are looking at moving into a house after our lease is up. We were able to work out a "rent with option to buy" from the owner after a year, so we are looking forward to getting a place of our own.

5. My office is moving to the next town over on Friday so we are busy packing, cleaning, and throwing things away. Hopefully we will throw out as much as we pack which will make things so much easier.

Interesting Reading List

I have seen this "memo" on a bunch of your blogs and really wanted to go through the list to see what I have read/want to read. It looks like fun to see all that I have read and what I want to read.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline (or mark in a different color) the books you LOVE

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriet Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Ronald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Rent Books Netflix-style with Online Book Rental - BookSwim.com

Rent Books Netflix-style with Online Book Rental - BookSwim.com

I love having this! I can check out books that I normally wouldn't since I didn't really want to buy them. Now I can read them without having to worry about keeping them out too long like the library. Plus, you can request books that they may not have.

Check it out!

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Great Weigh-In Day

I am actually doing really well with my WW this time around. After three weeks, I am down 7 lbs, which is a lot more than I have been able to do on my own. Tim is down 6 lbs, so we are both doing fairly well with the program. What I really need is the accountability and knowing that if I am paying for something, that I need to put forth my best effort. It is one thing to weigh yourself in your bathroom, but it is another to stand up in front of someone else and allow them to know your ups and downs of weight lose.

Now I just need to keep this great feeling with me to get me thru those times when I feel really down about myself.

Great Song by Kellie Coffey

"I Would Die For That"

Jenny was my best friend.
Went away one summer.
Came back with a secret
She just couldn't keep.
A child inside her,
Was just too much for her
So she cried herself to sleep.

And she made a decision
Some find hard to accept.
To young to know that one day
She might live to regret.

But I would die for that.
Just to have one chance
To hold in my hands
All that she had.
I would die for that.

I've been given so much,
A husband that I love.
So why do I feel incomplete?
With every test and checkup
We're told not to give up.
He wonders if it's him.
And I wonder if it's me.

All I want is a family,
Like everyone else I see.
And I won't understand it
If it's not meant to be.

Cause I would die for that.
Just to have one chance
To hold in my hands
All that they have.
I would die for that.

And I want to know what it's like
To bring a dream to life.
For that kind of love,
What I'd give up!
I would die for that.

Sometimes it's hard to conceive,
With all that I've got,
And all I've achieved,
What I want most
Before my time is gone,
Is to hear the words
"I love you, Mom."

I would die for that.
Just to have once chance
To hold in my hands
What so many have
I would die for that.

And I want to know what it's like
To bring a dream to life.
How I would love
What some give up.
I would die ...
I would die for that.

New Hungry Girl Cookbook

Look what book my DH bought for me! I love this site for so many good recipes that are easy and really nice for the figure and even have WW points, which is great to have. To have the cookbook is nice as well for just different things. I am looking forward to seeing what I can do with these recipes. I love that a lot of them are single servings since Tim and I work different schedules (like right now I am home on a Saturday night while he is at work).

And so we begin...

Well, it has finally happened. I have started my next cycle and I don't know if I should feel happy or sad. Happy to get things going again after a year, starting on the clomid and everything else, but also really sad to having to be doing this, starting on the clomid and everything else. It is kinda heartbreaking that I know of 10 friends who have had babies in the past year and I still haven't made any progress.

Life isn't fair and I know it. There are a lot of ladies out there who deserve to be mothers and we all hope and pray that our dreams come true. The ladies on TTTC are so wonderful sometimes, they get me thru some of the toughest times and still allow me to have hope of good things to come. I guess that is all I really need; Faith, Hope, and Love.

The Betty's Group

There is a great group of ladies in the Cincinnati area who have and are going thru the same thing I am. Being Catholic and going thru infertility and trying to seek out some kind of treatment. We all started out seeing Dr. Mattingly and receiving a diagnosis (75% have PCOS) and now we gtg once a month for dinner to socialize, to cry on each other's shoulders and just know that we are there for each other. I have never really had this kind of support before. Yes, I have friends with whom I have talked about this with, but they never really went thru the pain and heartache of infertility, so it isn't the same. What is kinda sad is that 9 of them have had babies within the past year that I have been on break. It has certainly been a trying time this past year, but I wouldn't take it back for anything (you all know what that one exception would be).

Also, just an update on Mom. I talked to her over the weekend, and she was offered the position in Thailand and it looks like Mom and Dad are moving by the end of the year. They are going to spend 2 years there, all expenses paid plus salary, so the money is just too good to pass up. I checked ticket prices after I got off the phone and they are $3k per person one way. OMG! I am so glad that Mom offered to buy the tickets for us.

Wii would like to play

Okay, a quick update from my tough day yesterday. I did lose two pounds this week, so it is certainly a start. And I am well on my way for hitting my first goal (at least for myself) of losing 5 lbs. And I am moving more which brings me to the topic of this post...

For anyone who has a Wii, I highly recommend the Wii Fit. We got this back in May (luckily we preordered, so no waiting) and while it does take some disciple to do it everyday, it is actually really fun to do. I have had no desire to go to the gym and workout (which hasn't been helping my cause, but that is a whole other story), but doing the Fit for just 30 minutes a day, every day, is really helping me to stay motivated. We do have DDR, but I have no rhythm (and Tim can vouch for that), so doing a step game doesn't help. Maybe after a month or so of daily workouts and regaining some of my balance, I *might* try the DDR again. My goal is work my way up from 30 minutes to an hour every day, and try to get a good mixture of strength and aerobic in.

Thanks for all the encouragement.

Oh, the Joys of WW...bah humbug

As you can tell I was having a love/hate type of day with WW yesterday. This is my third attempt with joining WW and I am at the end of my first week, and it certainly hasn't been easy. I know it works since I have lost weight in the past, but I have never been able to get past the first plateau of my body resisting change. Yesterday was interesting since I came to realize how little self control I really have (at least on an empty stomach). My boss brought in donuts yesterday, but not just any donuts, but ones from Starbucks. This is the same person who complained on Thursday that she needed to eat more healthy and exercise more; given that she is as skinny as a rail. I treated myself to one (normally I could eat 2-3) and then came to find out they were 11 pts...a piece. I did enjoy it and now know that I really need to learn how to say NO. I then had very little for lunch since I planned a full dinner and a night out at the movies (we saw The Dark Knight, awesome movie). And I was doing so good this week, considering it has been at least 18 months since the last time we (Tim and I) did WW.

New Doctor = New Protocol (Finally!)

I used to journal all the time, but I never really got it written down but a few times a year, so doing an almost daily blog is going to be new to me. I suppose it is high time I wrote down how I have been feeling instead of letting it boil up and over.

Anyway back to my daily thoughts...
Tim and I saw Dr. Mattingly (NaPro Doctor) on Monday and we finally got the go ahead to start the clomid again. After a year of being on break, it is nice to finally be moving forward (I hate turning my wheels in place). New doctor = new protocol; which includes 2000mg of Metformin, 30mg of Actos, 50 mg of Clomid (cd3-5), 200mg of B6 (leading up and thru ovulation), 2000mg of fish oil, and 200mg of Prometrium (starting 7dpo). It is so many meds that I need a pill case to remember to take them all. So right now I just need to wait to start my next cycle, but at least I have something to look forward to.

Here is just a tidbit of news on Mom. She told me last week that her plant was closing by the end of August (her 3rd job in 4 years). However, I got an interesting call from her last night. Turns out the equipment is being bought by a company in Thailand and that they are interviewing people to help set it up over there, including Mom. Her and Dad may be moving to Thailand for 18 months! How crazy is that?! She sounded excited about it, so there may be a trip sometime in the future. Man, even the possibility sounds exciting. Now I really need to get a passport (need it for work anyway).

Just the Beginning

Well, here is the start of our next step. It has been a long year since we decided to take a break and create a new start. Finding and getting a new job, moving 500 miles, and beginning life in a whole new city. Moving from Nashville to Cincinnati has certainly been a new experience considering I have been in TN for almost 8 years (but it doesn't beat my parents with their 3 moves in 6 years).