So alone...

I really don't know who to reach out to right now. I feel so alone. It is 4 days before Christmas and I have finally come to the realization that I am going to be by myself Christmas Eve (Tim goes into work at 1pm and doesn't get off until midnight) and again on Christmas Day (he will have to work again from 4pm to midnight). He doesn't have the holiday off like most people, but he only works customer service at Cincinnati Bell. There should be no reason that the call center should be open over the holiday (any holiday; I also spent Thanksgiving by myself, he worked 12 hours that day as well). I will also get to spend New Year's Eve by myself (he doesn't get home until after 12:30pm so it just isn't the same). I suppose it is better than last year when he worked 2nd shift and we ended up celebrating 5 hours earlier, but at least we were able to travel and make it back in time for him to work. Now we don't even have that option.

I think I am also sad because we don't have any extra money to get each other gifts, at least not ones that we don't already know about. Normally I enjoy shopping and wrapping presents, but when I have neither, what else am I suppose to do. He got WoW for his bday/christmas gift and we are only budgetted for $25 a person, including ourselves (which I hate). All I really want are some new baking pans (cookie sheets or cake pan) since ours are fairly nasty.

Unfortuantly, I have been taking my frustrations out on Tim and it isn't helping that I have the Clomid crazies right now. I can't wait to get back on the Femera, but that isn't until next cycle. I was hoping to relax and enjoy this break cycle, but that hasn't happened yet. I get to start HCG shots next cycle, which could be interesting since I have to administer my own shots (luckily there will only be 5). Dr. Mattingly promised me that they are small needles, so who knows.

I feel better (still have a headache) getting this onto paper, and I can only pray things get better. I can't wait for 2009 to get here.