Great Song by Kellie Coffey

"I Would Die For That"

Jenny was my best friend.
Went away one summer.
Came back with a secret
She just couldn't keep.
A child inside her,
Was just too much for her
So she cried herself to sleep.

And she made a decision
Some find hard to accept.
To young to know that one day
She might live to regret.

But I would die for that.
Just to have one chance
To hold in my hands
All that she had.
I would die for that.

I've been given so much,
A husband that I love.
So why do I feel incomplete?
With every test and checkup
We're told not to give up.
He wonders if it's him.
And I wonder if it's me.

All I want is a family,
Like everyone else I see.
And I won't understand it
If it's not meant to be.

Cause I would die for that.
Just to have one chance
To hold in my hands
All that they have.
I would die for that.

And I want to know what it's like
To bring a dream to life.
For that kind of love,
What I'd give up!
I would die for that.

Sometimes it's hard to conceive,
With all that I've got,
And all I've achieved,
What I want most
Before my time is gone,
Is to hear the words
"I love you, Mom."

I would die for that.
Just to have once chance
To hold in my hands
What so many have
I would die for that.

And I want to know what it's like
To bring a dream to life.
How I would love
What some give up.
I would die ...
I would die for that.

New Hungry Girl Cookbook

Look what book my DH bought for me! I love this site for so many good recipes that are easy and really nice for the figure and even have WW points, which is great to have. To have the cookbook is nice as well for just different things. I am looking forward to seeing what I can do with these recipes. I love that a lot of them are single servings since Tim and I work different schedules (like right now I am home on a Saturday night while he is at work).

And so we begin...

Well, it has finally happened. I have started my next cycle and I don't know if I should feel happy or sad. Happy to get things going again after a year, starting on the clomid and everything else, but also really sad to having to be doing this, starting on the clomid and everything else. It is kinda heartbreaking that I know of 10 friends who have had babies in the past year and I still haven't made any progress.

Life isn't fair and I know it. There are a lot of ladies out there who deserve to be mothers and we all hope and pray that our dreams come true. The ladies on TTTC are so wonderful sometimes, they get me thru some of the toughest times and still allow me to have hope of good things to come. I guess that is all I really need; Faith, Hope, and Love.

The Betty's Group

There is a great group of ladies in the Cincinnati area who have and are going thru the same thing I am. Being Catholic and going thru infertility and trying to seek out some kind of treatment. We all started out seeing Dr. Mattingly and receiving a diagnosis (75% have PCOS) and now we gtg once a month for dinner to socialize, to cry on each other's shoulders and just know that we are there for each other. I have never really had this kind of support before. Yes, I have friends with whom I have talked about this with, but they never really went thru the pain and heartache of infertility, so it isn't the same. What is kinda sad is that 9 of them have had babies within the past year that I have been on break. It has certainly been a trying time this past year, but I wouldn't take it back for anything (you all know what that one exception would be).

Also, just an update on Mom. I talked to her over the weekend, and she was offered the position in Thailand and it looks like Mom and Dad are moving by the end of the year. They are going to spend 2 years there, all expenses paid plus salary, so the money is just too good to pass up. I checked ticket prices after I got off the phone and they are $3k per person one way. OMG! I am so glad that Mom offered to buy the tickets for us.

Wii would like to play

Okay, a quick update from my tough day yesterday. I did lose two pounds this week, so it is certainly a start. And I am well on my way for hitting my first goal (at least for myself) of losing 5 lbs. And I am moving more which brings me to the topic of this post...

For anyone who has a Wii, I highly recommend the Wii Fit. We got this back in May (luckily we preordered, so no waiting) and while it does take some disciple to do it everyday, it is actually really fun to do. I have had no desire to go to the gym and workout (which hasn't been helping my cause, but that is a whole other story), but doing the Fit for just 30 minutes a day, every day, is really helping me to stay motivated. We do have DDR, but I have no rhythm (and Tim can vouch for that), so doing a step game doesn't help. Maybe after a month or so of daily workouts and regaining some of my balance, I *might* try the DDR again. My goal is work my way up from 30 minutes to an hour every day, and try to get a good mixture of strength and aerobic in.

Thanks for all the encouragement.

Oh, the Joys of WW...bah humbug

As you can tell I was having a love/hate type of day with WW yesterday. This is my third attempt with joining WW and I am at the end of my first week, and it certainly hasn't been easy. I know it works since I have lost weight in the past, but I have never been able to get past the first plateau of my body resisting change. Yesterday was interesting since I came to realize how little self control I really have (at least on an empty stomach). My boss brought in donuts yesterday, but not just any donuts, but ones from Starbucks. This is the same person who complained on Thursday that she needed to eat more healthy and exercise more; given that she is as skinny as a rail. I treated myself to one (normally I could eat 2-3) and then came to find out they were 11 pts...a piece. I did enjoy it and now know that I really need to learn how to say NO. I then had very little for lunch since I planned a full dinner and a night out at the movies (we saw The Dark Knight, awesome movie). And I was doing so good this week, considering it has been at least 18 months since the last time we (Tim and I) did WW.

New Doctor = New Protocol (Finally!)

I used to journal all the time, but I never really got it written down but a few times a year, so doing an almost daily blog is going to be new to me. I suppose it is high time I wrote down how I have been feeling instead of letting it boil up and over.

Anyway back to my daily thoughts...
Tim and I saw Dr. Mattingly (NaPro Doctor) on Monday and we finally got the go ahead to start the clomid again. After a year of being on break, it is nice to finally be moving forward (I hate turning my wheels in place). New doctor = new protocol; which includes 2000mg of Metformin, 30mg of Actos, 50 mg of Clomid (cd3-5), 200mg of B6 (leading up and thru ovulation), 2000mg of fish oil, and 200mg of Prometrium (starting 7dpo). It is so many meds that I need a pill case to remember to take them all. So right now I just need to wait to start my next cycle, but at least I have something to look forward to.

Here is just a tidbit of news on Mom. She told me last week that her plant was closing by the end of August (her 3rd job in 4 years). However, I got an interesting call from her last night. Turns out the equipment is being bought by a company in Thailand and that they are interviewing people to help set it up over there, including Mom. Her and Dad may be moving to Thailand for 18 months! How crazy is that?! She sounded excited about it, so there may be a trip sometime in the future. Man, even the possibility sounds exciting. Now I really need to get a passport (need it for work anyway).

Just the Beginning

Well, here is the start of our next step. It has been a long year since we decided to take a break and create a new start. Finding and getting a new job, moving 500 miles, and beginning life in a whole new city. Moving from Nashville to Cincinnati has certainly been a new experience considering I have been in TN for almost 8 years (but it doesn't beat my parents with their 3 moves in 6 years).